Often times when I’m feeling lost I look back to a moment of supreme happiness. This helps to ground me in my goals and hopes for the future. This was taken in Liverpool, England with one of my best friends and fellow interns Wuisa Fernanda.

Lately I’ve realized how easy it is to skimp on self-love. College life is rife with opportunities to cheat yourself of the care you deserve. Along with mass consumption of unhealthy food comes an anti self diet. Not sleeping, missing meals, and excessive drinking is routine and sometimes expected. After this past weekend I’ve realized that I have fallen in to a habit of not appreciating myself. As I mentioned in my last post I have become overly concerned with the struggles of those around me and along the way I was losing myself. This time I awoke Sunday morning with a feeling as though I was drowning. My immediate reaction was to hide this from those who care about me. However as the day progressed and the worried text messages increased I realized I was being childish. To ignore an outstretched hand in a time of need only inflicts more self harm. I texted a friend and treated her to a brunch where we rehashed the weekend. After i paid the tab at the end of the meal we decided to check everything we’d talked about at the door of the restaurant. This past weekend was rough for me in that a lot of my emotions were on display in from of a lot of people. This is something I’m profoundly uncomfortable with. What I took from this is that we show the most strength when we feel the most vulnerable. The experience we will have is a given. It is our response however that determines the future.

Hannah Carolyn

Cultivating Stillness was originally published on Self-Love Warrior, the Love Warrior Community’s group self-love blog.