Day 23: 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge, Prompt: Facing your Fears: (Submitted January 23, 2017)
Dear LW Community,
I feel like this year has been a year of facing my fears. I currently had to work with the last several prompts this weekend because of my background with feeling anger is much more difficult than the average person. I am highly activated and triggered when someone is angry with me. My mind often goes into protection mode and fight or flight. For the past three days I have been challenging my fear, my thoughts, and what anger, a secondary emotions means. This is what I worked with.
1. This weekend I set a boundary and I respectfully let someone I love know that my boundary was Violated. Even though I know that this was not their intention and they love me, it is important that I continue to speak my truth and be honest with how I feel. This was very hard because I also had to challenge my fear of them being irritated, frustrated, or angry with me. I’m continuing to work with the emotional impact of this.
2. I’m working on allowing others to be angry with me and not fear it. I know that I am a realistic and loving person that invites in any emotion with those I love. I never want to hurt those I love, and I know that I can create space for any emotion that anyone feels for me. I have to work on not going to worst-case scenarios because of past abandonment issues I’ve had in my life.
3. I have a deep desire for people to like me. It is a fear if others do not. I am continuing to work with this because in reality not everyone’s gonna like me. And when it comes down to it, I have to be OK with myself. This is my continued work.
4. Sometimes I have a hard time using my voice. I’m afraid that people will be open to my insights, knowledge, and opinions. I’m continuing to voice this fear as I have a right to be at the table. I have the right to be valued, respected, and treated in such a way.
5. I struggled with saying no this weekend. I have every right to say no when something is too much for me. I have to remind myself that I have every right to say no when I feel like I am being taken advantage of and not appreciated.
6. I am continuing to work and confront my fears with someone I love leaving my life. I have to work on how much of what I am doing is to carry on her legacy versus doing what is best for me. I don’t know if the two things are different yet. And this is hard. They are both good but need to be worked with so I am respectful of myself. This is a confusing, fearful, and a huge space to be in.
7. I’m working with my fear of not doing enough. I have volunteered and helped an organization for a long time. I have gone above and beyond in supporting its mission. I have done so out of the goodness of my heart. I also know that there’s a part of me that wants to be recognized and valued for what I have given. I have not been feeling this, and it creates fear for me and Challenges that part that says that I’m not doing enough. I have to remind myself that I am and no matter what anyone else does and says I have to go back to the core of my truth. I do so much. I go above and beyond. I have to honor the work that I’ve done.
8. I am also working on fear when it comes to letting others into my life. I’m trying to let people see who I am, show emotions, and not feel like a burden. This is my work.
This self-love post was inspired by a 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge prompt. Join us, and make self-love your New Year’s resolution this year!